


We're Gonna Fight 'Em Off

by Nuwandalz



Category: S.W.A.T. (2003), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Dubious Consent, M/M, Mind Rape, Rape/Non-con References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-07
Updated: 2012-06-07
Packaged: 2017-11-07 03:54:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/426665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nuwandalz/pseuds/Nuwandalz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki is keeping this slow, threatening Brian with his eyes anytime Brian tries to get some control back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We're Gonna Fight 'Em Off

**Author's Note:**

> SPOILERS for both Avengers (2012) and S.W.A.T.
> 
> I'm working on a series (that at this point of time is no where near finished) where Loki, post-Avengers, steals himself one very dead Brian Gamble because he looks like Hawkeye and brings him back to life with all the issues he had prior to dying, plus more. That's all you need to know in order to understand this one and hopefully I'll get the larger series out at some point. 
> 
> This is un-beta'd but would appreciate any offers!

Brian clenches his hands tight around the cold armour Loki wears, biting down on his own lip hard to try and prevent sounds. Loki's eyes just stare right into him, his mouth parted but silent. Each roll of Loki's hips has Brian fighting to keep his eyes open, the push and pull of Loki's cock inside him isn't enough. He needs this to be harder and faster, just like their previous fucks and even if parts of Loki's clothes scrape against his skin hard enough to draw red lines, it's not what he needs.

Loki is keeping this slow, threatening Brian with his eyes anytime Brian tries to get some control back.

He wonders if this is what Barton felt, why Barton turns sickly pale whenever Loki's name shows up. This feeling, as if Loki is breaking through his head and fucking his soul instead of his body - it's worth fearing. There aren't enough world secrets in his own head to be worried about but it still grates on every last nerve to know someone else is seeing the parts of him he wants good and buried.

There's memories of Jimmy trying to break free behind his eyes and Loki's focus is sharp, intense, green eyes that don't blink and hands so cold it chills him to his core.  
"Harder," Brian groans, trying not to sound impatient. "Fuck, c'mon. Harder."

Pain crackles at his temple, Jim's laughter echoing in his head. He shakes his own head softly as if to dislodge it but Loki rocks his hips up once, hard like a punishment and it pours heat down his spine. Without his consent he starts thinking about the past, barely notices Loki's lips quirking up into a smirk as his thoughts start getting tangled up.  
Jim was too fucking beautiful, that's what the problem was. He'd shown up all clean and pretty, face eager and Brian just hadn't been able to help himself. He'd wanted to dig fingers into Jim and leave bruises on his bones, mark him up and steal all that beauty for himself. Naive little thing, well, in some ways. Jimbo was the one that still believed the right thing meant following the rules, to color inside the lines to get the gold star. He was damn good at sucking cock though.

Loki's tongue runs out over his bottom lip and Brian's eyes track the movement, easily distracted away from his mind. Loki shoots him a disappointed look but Brian's been on his best behaviour so far, hasn't even tried touching his own cock without permission. Slowly he rolls his head on his shoulders, watching Loki through lidded eyes. His thighs are burning from holding this position, fingers cramping from how tightly he has them curled. Every second that ticks on is just pushing him closer to losing his control. If Loki doesn't fuck him properly soon, he's going to snap. As if triggered by the thought, Loki's hand crawls up his body, over his tattoos and slides gently over the back of his neck, drawing his focus back. Their eyes lock again and he has the word 'no' on his tongue without knowing why.

Jim always touched him gently which was something Brian never noticed until later. He'd fuck Jim up against a wall, pushing his face into the bricks and panting out groans against his neck. He thought that Jim had always bruised and bitten him, just like he'd always done to Jim but the only times that his skin wore Street's marks were after their training sessions, their spars. It was never the sex. Brian marked Jim with every fuck, red tattoos that faded with the days, declaring his property. Brian's skin was always clean. It hadn't bothered him for the first year they started and the thought only made an appearance halfway through the second. But a year before Jim betrayed him, he'd been doing his damn hardest to force Jim into leaving a mark. Just one. Their fucks were angrier, painful and Jim didn't touch him like he would break anymore and still, Jimmy fucking Street never left a mark. No evidence - no body, no crime.

The only marks he carries from Street now are the ones too deep inside for Brian to run fingers over. These ones can't be seen in a mirror but Brian feels them with every heartbeat, the anger and hurt. It lives under his skin and beneath his ribcage, making him want to scream. Sometimes it feels like too much to keep inside, a tripwire begging to be missed. To let go and forget Street would be impossible but he likes to pretend Jimmy doesn't have that kind of claim on him anymore, tries to hide it under the absolute hate he has for the world now.

He bends down to bite at Loki's lip, wanting to draw blood because Loki will hit him for it, punish him. But Loki just pets his hair and thrusts into him gently and so goddamn slowly. Brian feels the kindness like it's a knife wound, gutting him. "Don't," he growls out but Loki brushes fingers over the shell of his ear, thumb catching on one of his earrings, a touch so light it tickles.

The touches might be soft but at least Loki's eyes are still cold and vicious looking. He wants to focus on that, to stare into that face that could kill him with a thought and take absolute joy in it. But every time Brian meets his gaze, Loki starts pulling at the thread of memories, untangling them all. One hard tug and Brian's mind is simply going to splinter apart and fall all over the place. Which of course is what Loki wants and something Brian is beginning to fear more and more.  
Loki leans up towards him, presses a soft kiss to Brian's collarbone that slams into him like a steel wheel, rolling right through him and cutting him into two. It's agony to feel like this, frozen and ashamed. Brian tries to look away from Loki's eyes, to somehow prevent the other from getting anywhere in his head. It's useless. He can hear trains.

The memory Loki picks to fuck out of him is one where he's with Jim still. It's different from the majority of ones he kept around to jerk off to. This one he's desperately tried to keep from himself, never mind Loki.   
There's orange light filtered through the blinds and Jim's back is exposed, his head turned on the pillow. Brian remembers looking at him, trying to figure this out because he'd always thought it was a constant fight between them, not this intimate bullshit that wrecks everything. This was a fun thing, breaking Jimmy down and building him back up again, making sure he could take a hit and throw back a punch. But this isn't that. Not at all. This is Jim, relaxed and asleep in his bed and Brian doesn't get this at all. For whatever reason he leans down to press a soft kiss to Jim's spine, lips lingering at the warm skin, eyes closing to savour it. It feels like a communication failure, time to abort, pull back and regroup. This is more than going into an operation blind, this is standing on a pressure plate and feeling that click under the heel. Brian doesn't know what he's doing, looking down at Jim as if he's in love with the fucker, so he takes control of the situation and pushes them in a direction he does know. Crisis management. He shoves fingers into Jim's hair and pulls him back hard, attacking his shoulder and neck with teeth until Jim wakes. With a smirk he guides Jim down to suck him off, pressing a thumb at the corner of Jim's pretty mouth so he can feel them both. When he comes he laughs, slapping Jim's cheek in thanks and refusing to repay the favour. They shower separately before they go to work and Brian forgets it ever happened.

"You can't hide from me," Loki murmurs, digging mental fingers into that memory until Brian feels a bruise bloom up on his heart. He can taste blood in his mouth and he can't tell the difference between terror and arousal anymore. Loki makes them feel the same. Whatever it is that Loki sees in him, it finally makes him close his eyes, saving Brian from spilling anymore secrets. Loki's fingers close around his hips tight and finally he moves into a pace that's more Brian's speed. It hurts now after being on the receiving end of all those soft touches but Brian slips into the pain, knows how to handle himself in a fight like this.   
When Loki comes, his eyes blaze green and Brian holds back a sob as agony tears through him. Shame rips shreds into him and he can't focus at all until Loki's hand fists around his cock and jerks him off hard and fast. Words that are affectionate and gentle keep spewing out of Loki's mouth, the worst torture Brian has ever had to sit through. It feels like he's bleeding out all over the floor and Brian shakes with each word until the final one has him falling over the edge and coming in Loki's hand.

Brian's mouth moves but no sounds come out, his mind completely torn apart in a way he wasn't expecting. This isn't something they teach in recruitment training, not even S.W.A.T had a section devoted to being mind-fucked. It's almost like something has been taken from him, but Brian doesn't have the words for what it was. He can feel Loki's fingers in his brain, moving furniture around and sliding things back into place or maybe just rewiring him. He's too wrung out, feeling weak and brittle and hating himself for it. Loki draws back, cups Brian's face so that their eyes meet again and the sharp points of Loki's nails digging painfully into his skin means he can breathe again. Brian leans into it, wanting the physical pain to be a comfort because he knows how to deal with that at least.

This deal he made with Loki might come with fine print, but all Brian can see is that he's been given a second chance at life. As long as he can make it through until he can see Street and tear that fucker apart, he can handle whatever happens from now until then. 

"Stop fucking with my head," Brian eventually manages to say, swiping a hand down his body and collecting sweat on his fingertips. "I got nobody to charge if you go breaking shit in there."

With a slow smile, Loki just stares at him in answer.


End file.
